May 2013
15 posts
2 tags
By and large, I’m a fan of overalls.
3 tags
How to Lose a Guy in One Tinder →
How far will a guy go when he thinks he’s getting laid?
lolz mobile dating app is perfect troll platform
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What's the big deal with___
What’s the big deal with 3D-printed guns? Hello —- 3D-printed body armor!
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Crisis
Office chair butt is one of the greatest health epidemics of our times.
2 tags
"Clownsourcing"
Clownsourcing - n. When you ask post a question to your social media network and all the answers are sarcastic rejoinders.
3 tags
I dont get string backpacks. Why is it cool to have a shitty bacpack with no pockets?
4 tags
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The hufflepuffington post
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Under armor
Everyone knows that Under Armor is just Spanx for dudes, right?
6 tags
2 tags
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Smells like someone on this train has confused a box of baby wipes with a bottle of cologne.
2 tags
Kriss Kross just got a strikethrough.
April 2013
4 posts
2 tags
Time to play guess who is the source of the stinky person smell on the subway train.
5 tags
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March 2013
2 posts
1 tag
4 tags
Sequester? Kickstarter!
Forget the sequester, the government should just launch a kickstarter campaign.
February 2013
1 post
5 tags
January 2013
15 posts
2 tags
Saved to Netflix Queue
Los Miserables, an epic 158 min of CCTV camera footage from the outside of a McDonald’s in a Mexico City barrio. In the film’s emotional climax, our heroine, the Fanta vending machine, plays a jingle about lost change.
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Excellent Action Movie Idea
Title: “Townhoused”
Genre: Action/Adventure
Possible taglines:
“This time, the gentry get served”
“Born with a silver dagger in his mouth”
“The Rockefeller Rocky”
“To the manor bourne (identity)”
“The hansom has a bomb in it”
6 tags
I freaked out
In the middle of getting my hair cut, I bolted my barber’s chair. There’s a flu epidemic on, and I have a 13wk old at home.
I had seen the news, how over flu season has cropped up 5 weeks early this year with 29 states reporting high to severe amounts of cases, and the vaccine shortages, and that’s when I thought, yeah, maybe I should get one of those.
It hit home when that morning my boss...
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Brilliant Idea
Why don’t the have a dance music spinning class with a singing house diva as the instructor?
1 tag
Truism.
It’s not what it’s not.
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Lena Dunham's Golden Globes Footwear
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What Lena Dunham should have worn to the Golden...
Tuxedo top. Black pants. Chucks - perhaps sequined.
5 tags
Children's names shouted at Carroll Gardens...
Ishma
Valentino
Jacamo
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The Paul Rudd project
In “This is 40,” producer Judd Apatow continues his now eight-year longitudinal study of Paul Rudd.
3 tags
Working for tips
I like how the cashiers, waiters and baristas at the cool shops around here treat their service jobs like it’s a performance art project they’re doing as a favor. It lets me forget for a brief, sweet moment that we have 7.8% unemployment
1 tag
Someone had to say it!
The Mechanic is just like Memento, only shitty.
1 tag
Hot New Dramas
He’s a detective with spina bifida.
He’s a burglary cop with kleptomania.
She’s a lawyer with synethesia.
They’re a wilderness rescue team with night blindness.
He’s a jewel thief with carpal tunnel syndrome.
She’s an IRS fraud investigator with undiagnosed schizophrenia.
She’s a school teacher with fibromyalgia.
She’s a pole dancer with asperger’s.
He’s a tennis coach with...
1 tag
An indecent proposal on the subway
“Got any bj’s left?” asked the man walking toward me on the subway platform.
“Excuse me?”
“Is that the B that just left?”
“Oh, I don’t know.”
2 tags
Invention
Plaid shirts with built-in spandex for fat hipsters.
December 2012
7 posts
2 tags
Denied drums as kids, my wife and I have decided our child will only be allowed to play the drums.
2 tags
Q: What does a bridge say when it forgives?
A: Let’s just let pylons be pylons.
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Screw you, chick watching my double parking with a half-curved lip. Like you’re so great at life.
4 tags
Bloomberg Wanted to legalize pot
Little-known except outside elite New York City political circles was that while Washington and Colorado worked to legalize marijuana, Mayor Bloomberg was quietly advancing a proposal to do the same — with a Bloombergian twist: it would be only only for eights of an ounce or less. Any larger amounts would lead to excessive munchies and obesity, far greater crimes against taxpaying citizens...
2 tags
A suggestion for how The New York Times can fix...
Like all other online publishers, The New York Times has a problem with its comments section. The editors wish to encourage conversation, but oftentimes the submitted comments are of low quality, particularly when they are strewn with various “internet speak” abbreviations. Therefore, The New York Times should develop a module that automatically corrects such speech, while still both...
2 tags
Serbia's NATO ambassador leaps to death after...
AP: Serbia’s ambassador to NATO was chatting and joking with colleagues in a multistory parking garage at Brussels Airport when he suddenly strolled to a barrier, climbed over and flung himself to the ground below, a diplomat said.
Talk about committing to a bit.
3 tags
November 2012
3 posts
2 tags
It’s a good thing we’ve been recycling all these years, otherwise Sandy would have been *really* bad.
4 tags
October 2012
3 posts
1 tag
3 tags
Laughing in cars on tv makes me tense
I tense up whenever I see on TV someone laughing in the passenger seat of a car and the camera lingers a half-second. I always expect a brutal jacknife crash to follow.
1 tag
